Friday, December 26, 2014

Finding A GOOD Book

currently happened in 1Borneo Sabah is Popular MEGA Book fair. it was a heaven to the bookworms including ME. i can stay there for all night long just to find a book to read. well basically, my taste of books can be anything but worth to read.

actually my attention to go to the book fair was finding buku catatan mat lutfi but i couldnt find it. i am so FRUSTRATED somehow because that book is an amazing. but.... i found something else. it was A Life of Reinvention: Malcolm X. guess what... it was RM 126 but i bought it only RM 9.90 .... so, tell me how could i say no to this RARELY cheap price?

besides that, i bought a malay novel, Cinta Disini with only RM 29.90 (almost half from the original price).

maybe during new year holiday, i would like to go and buy an english novel.

well, i was thinking should buy an english novel or not because i have one but i didnt finish reading it yet. "I'm so busy till I don't have time to read it" (just an excuse). but still i want to buy one. but this time i want to buy a romance novel. i never read an english romance novel.

the overseas romance novel would be different from malay romance novel, right? but i dont know what to buy, i mean which one is a GOOD novel for me to start with. there are thousands (okay, i used hyperbola), i mean hundreds of novels out there and everything seemed to be awesome to read.


i was also thinking to buy another Chicken Soup for Soul. i already have the Teenage edition and what's next?

and also ,

i almost wanted to buy Hlovate's Contengan Jalanan. since i didn't read it yet, so i want to buy it. my mission was to buy all Hlovate's writting. i already have Anthem, the lastest novel of Hlovate and also the compilation of [Tunas] and Aa + Bb. what's left were Contengan Jalanan, Rooftop Rant, Schubert Serenade and Ked's Story and what else i miss out? oh yess... 5 Tahun 5 Bulan and Versus. i didnt read 5 Tahun 5 Bulan and Contengan Jalanan yet. but the others are amazing. among those stories, i love Schubert Serenade the most. why? just read by yourself. i wont tell ya.

Versus and Ked's Story are linked stories and also there were some parts in Anthem from Rooftop Rant. Aa + Bb is the continuation from [Tunas]. so better to read all of Hlovate's arts. btw, [Tunas] made me recall the past during mjsc years. i totally could imagine the scenarios perfectly.

what else eh?

i think that's all. i already lost the idea of what i want to write ...

Thursday, December 18, 2014

i thought i was strong

I thought I was strong but I'm wrong. In some cases, I thought I could face it like a brave woman but I felt before I face it. Seems like my energy is drained out slowly.. slowly.. I don't know when will my energy run out but it's getting closer. I don't think I have any more patience to face this hardness. All of this are eating me out.

There was a fanfic I read. I don't remember its name but it was a well-written fanfic. The main character used to hurt herself when she felt down or pressure. By then I thought it was not her fault if she or anyone who wanted to commit suicide. The surrounding make she thinks like that. For some reason, I do think wanting to commit suicide but fortunately I don't have gut to do so. But, I do feel like want to punch some walls as if it will push away the hurts in my heart. There are soo many times I said I want to quit. Quit from everything that gave headaches, stresses, tensions and pressures.
Back to the fanfic I read, the writter then pointed out about the people who actually care for us. Even if we thought there was nobody who seem to care about us, there was still someone somewhere who deeply thought about us. There is still people who love us more than we love ourselves. I believe in that. Can I?

I know there's no point raging at something but still it will ease the problem.

I know crying make us look weak but still crying can lighten our heart.

But right now, I don't have a crying shoulder to lean on. I desperately need it.

The people who I care soo much, the people who I love deeply, the person who I miss damn much are not here by my side but they still inside my heart. And I know, they also feel like what I felt. That people, that person thanks. Thank you so much for being there with me when the world seems to be cruel with me. Thanks for hand me helps when I need it.

I'm not a person with words. Therefore, I'm not good in expressing my feeling. But you guys know it, right?

Those two years of spending time together actually change me a lot. Although I'm still lazy as I was born with it but still I finish all the homework given. I learnt about skinship that actually help a lot in a relationship like you and me. I also learnt about sharing is caring.

Those two years of speding time together, it has lots of memories. The beautiful and happy memories and also the bad and dark memories. All of it are so precious to me.

Those two years of spending time together, it give me strength to continue my life, to fight for the best, to keep continue and continue.

Fath, remember this.
"Run while you can. If you can't, then walk. If you can't walk, crawl. Don't stop moving. You can do it!"

letter from heart, fath