| i only googled and chose this pic bc it's cute |
how long i have left this blog unwritten? i lost my count already. there were so many things to tell, to let it out from my shutting mouth, from my overthinking brain. but things weren't easy to be handled by me alone.
to be truth, i don't know what will i write after this. i just let my fingers pressed the words and it showed on the screen.
i'm still in UMS.
i'm still in love with SUPER JUNIOR.
i'm still me.
but the 'me' is definitely different that the 'me' from last year.
i'm not a student of foundation of science who struggled to maintain the cgpa, who always partying around, hanging around and lazying around. tho i'm still the lazy me, but at least, i'm trying to make efforts studying my subjects especially mandarin. i don't have to worry myself trying to remember the facts about how photosynthesis happened or forcing myself to remember the reactions of certain chemicals, tho still i have to study the carbs and his friends. i solely embrace myself with maths, my love since forever.
my attention towards SUPER JUNIOR is gradually decreasing, not because of new groups debuted but because i'm busy doing my works, homework and assignments. not to mention, i have to focus my brain how to eat without easily spend my money. i have trouble with money and i hate it.
at some certain time, when i was alone and i didn't know what to do, my brain automatically think about something and someone. someone who i miss so much, family and friends who are far from me.
sometimes, when i was reading manga or fanfic, the sad part made me cry. i don't know how come i'm become so sensitive but that cry did lighten my heart. when i'm depressed, that cry slowly made me feel relieve. i don't know what else can make me de-stress but crying is the best way, so far. and sometimes, i don't want to be alone or feel lonely. that feeling scared me made me thinking so much things and negatives.
recently, i have finish reading cooper-k by rodier. about medical student and pharmacy student. subjects that aren't my cup of tea. but, i gained new knowledge. i have been searching this novel for months and finally it's mine. that girl, isn't like me but one one thing that AA and me similar, we both don't give a glance about couple or crush. but once the heart attached, forever will loyal to that one guy. nonetheless, it's a great piece from rodier to read. and i'm aiming for ash after this.
when i was at home, i was checking my things from high school. i still kept my writing safely. i read it and laughed at my limited vocabulary at that time. i was such a newbie. i'm still writing but not frequently as now. my time is limited. there is idea to write but my lazy illness prevented me from writing. even if i write, i may write it half way. i'm so lazy. but i still couldn't deny the fact i miss to write something new and refreshing.
suddenly when i'm writing this entry, i recapped what happened for a year before. that time was precious and i did cherish that time. that time when i spent time with my friends. watching movies, walking around shopping but buy nothing, karaoke. there were so much crazy thing we did and of course it was precious. one year ago, i never dream myself will witness mount kinabalu with my own eyes. i never imagine myself spending a night at a lonely beach. i never think i will be admitted to hospital because of appendix. *chuckled*
was i crazy enough to make myself get appendix? idk.
young is sure happiness.
to be truth, i don't know what will i write after this. i just let my fingers pressed the words and it showed on the screen.
i'm still in UMS.
i'm still in love with SUPER JUNIOR.
i'm still me.
but the 'me' is definitely different that the 'me' from last year.
i'm not a student of foundation of science who struggled to maintain the cgpa, who always partying around, hanging around and lazying around. tho i'm still the lazy me, but at least, i'm trying to make efforts studying my subjects especially mandarin. i don't have to worry myself trying to remember the facts about how photosynthesis happened or forcing myself to remember the reactions of certain chemicals, tho still i have to study the carbs and his friends. i solely embrace myself with maths, my love since forever.
my attention towards SUPER JUNIOR is gradually decreasing, not because of new groups debuted but because i'm busy doing my works, homework and assignments. not to mention, i have to focus my brain how to eat without easily spend my money. i have trouble with money and i hate it.
at some certain time, when i was alone and i didn't know what to do, my brain automatically think about something and someone. someone who i miss so much, family and friends who are far from me.
sometimes, when i was reading manga or fanfic, the sad part made me cry. i don't know how come i'm become so sensitive but that cry did lighten my heart. when i'm depressed, that cry slowly made me feel relieve. i don't know what else can make me de-stress but crying is the best way, so far. and sometimes, i don't want to be alone or feel lonely. that feeling scared me made me thinking so much things and negatives.
when i was at home, i was checking my things from high school. i still kept my writing safely. i read it and laughed at my limited vocabulary at that time. i was such a newbie. i'm still writing but not frequently as now. my time is limited. there is idea to write but my lazy illness prevented me from writing. even if i write, i may write it half way. i'm so lazy. but i still couldn't deny the fact i miss to write something new and refreshing.
suddenly when i'm writing this entry, i recapped what happened for a year before. that time was precious and i did cherish that time. that time when i spent time with my friends. watching movies, walking around shopping but buy nothing, karaoke. there were so much crazy thing we did and of course it was precious. one year ago, i never dream myself will witness mount kinabalu with my own eyes. i never imagine myself spending a night at a lonely beach. i never think i will be admitted to hospital because of appendix. *chuckled*
was i crazy enough to make myself get appendix? idk.
young is sure happiness.
to my little cute friend, sometimes it's okay to cry out loud. sometime, it's okay to show how weak we are to people. sometimes, we are depressed. sometimes, we are sad, sometimes, there's happiness that make us smile and laugh. sometimes, we need to be alone. sometimes, we need a friend. sometimes, we need a shoulder to cry. sometimes, we only need a word to give us the spirit. whatever happened, remember, don't ever hesitate to make a move forward. life isn't a bed of roses. pray is the best answer to everything. i'm sorry i can't there for you, to lend my shoulder for you, to give my hugs to you. but still, you're in my heart
A lonely road, crossed another cold state line
Miles away from those I love, purpose hard to find
While I recall all the words you spoke to me
Can't help but wish that I was there
Back where I'd love to be, oh yeah
Dear God, the only thing I ask of you
Is to hold her when I'm not around
When I'm much too far away
We all need that person who can be true to you
But I left her when I found her
And now I wish I'd stayed
'Cause I'm lonely and I'm tired
I'm missing you again, oh no...
Once again
There's nothing here for me, on this barren road
There's no one here while the city sleeps
And all the shops are closed
Can't help but think of the times I've had with you
Pictures and some memories will have to help me through, oh yeah
Dear God, the only thing I ask of you
Is to hold her when I'm not around
When I'm much too far away
We all need that person who can be true to you
I left her when I found her
And now I wish I'd stayed
'Cause I'm lonely and I'm tired
I'm missing you again, oh no...
Once again
Some search, never finding a way
Before long, they waste away
I found you, something told me to stay
I gave in, to selfish ways
And how I miss someone to hold
When hope begins to fade...
A lonely road, crossed another cold state line
Miles away from those I love, purpose hard to find
Dear God, the only thing I ask of you
Is to hold her when I'm not around
When I'm much too far away
We all need the person who can be true to you
I left her when I found her
And now I wish I'd stayed
'Cause I'm lonely and I'm tired
I'm missing you again, oh no...
Once again
- Dear God by Avenged Sevenfold
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